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Dive deep into the world of alien dildos — from horrifying beasts to bold brutes, these alien sex toys offer a palette of pleasure both great and small. Way out on the final frontier of sexual flavor stands a phallic army of shapes alien to our own, ready to show us sensations out of this world. Meet the alien dildos aka xenomorph dildos. The alien fetish, a desire for erotic fun with toys of non-realistic proportions, is burgeoning in popularity.


Get ready for a little egg on your face. And in This third edition of Wacky Sex Toy of the Week features some truly unique toys Yes, perhaps even more so than a dildo affixed to a pogo stick or a penis fly trapand Lord knows those are hard to beat. Have you ever dreamed of being stranded upon a moist and marvelous alien planet and stumbling on a singularly tentacular surprise?

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Ever had fond fantasies of your spaceship being boarded by an egg-bearing love monster looking for a few comfortably damp orifices to nestle its future offspring within? Ovipositor dildos woke in a desirous sweat from tingly thoughts of braving the briny oceanic depths, only to discover a lustful octoid wonder of times gone by Yes, that does mean what you think it means.

Essentially, these are squishy and tentacle-esque dildos from which messily splort a gelatinous egg into the ardour-bedewed lust-burrow of your ovipositor dildos, where it slowly and slimily melts with your body heat into a clearish alien ooze. And facing towards you. And lodged in one of your more delicate areas. And an ovipositor. After all, just how horrified can one be by a section of dildo-y tubing and a few strategically-placed lumps of jelly? If you're looking for a little bump 'n' grind.

Granted, the demo video for Splorch is a little hard to watch in some places, as one waits with increasing anticipation and an odd sense of dread for the slowly-progressing egg to finally spurt oozily forth from the pouting lips of its dampened domicile and bounce enthusiastically across the table as, spoiler alert, it finally does, chased immediately by a of its gelatinous brethren but, along with any desire to eat Jell-O in the near future, those moments soon pass.

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Its product description re: 'It's creepy, crawly, and likes the warmth of your body And why not? Even if it does look like a bulbous tube worm with lascivious tendencies and a gnarly head cold. And remember to ovipositor dildos tuned for the next Wacky Sex Toy of the Week column where we report on some of the strangest and most uncomfortable-looking sex toys the world has to offer.

Stay weird, internet! Every woman deserves a Titty Tote. Something she can throw a few things into and head out to the beach. A bag for the every day chores of today's modern, on the go girl. She will carry a statement of strong feminine values and positive body image. Go get your girl a Titty Tote today. A dancer, model, and child actor who had guest starred on Silver Spoons along side fellow child actor Ricky Schroder, Berkley had just turned eighteen when she landed the role of Jessie Spano on the 90s teen hit Saved By the Bell.

She was one of the first contemporary teen actresses to transform into a sex symbol on network television.

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Saved by the Bell first aired in Six years later, her sexualization was completed with the starring role in the cult classic Showgirls, by renowned director Paul Verhoven. us and answer the immortal question of whether or not these girls have butt plugs or not.

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A butt plug is a sex toy that is deed to be inserted into the rectum for sexual pleasure. In some ways, they are similar to a dildo, but they tend to be shorter, and have a flanged end to prevent the device from being lost inside the rectum. Grindhouse is a return to the world of the real.

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Do it, do it! Hell no.

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These theaters have taken shut-down burlesque halls and transformed them into grindhouse arenas that air exploitation films. Ink was once forbidden by parents of the middle and upper class, across a country deeply divided by wealth and politics. As a generation has turned over since the more conservative later 20th century, there is renewed interest in self assertion, self actualization and self expression. An era of tattoo models, once allocated to a small sub niche culture has gained ificant momentum since the turn of the century.

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The hottest models have evolved into commercial brands and hot hosts of tattoo culture. The millennials were born to parents who were once denied the privilege of ink. They turn a blind eye and live vicariously through a generation more tatted than any that came before them.

Women were once second class citizens in the ovipositor dildos community. As much as the century did for women's political rights, and equality in the work force, the 21st century is responsible for equality in the tattoo parlors and biker clubs. Todays women where their tattoos proudly, baring public messages on private parts. What about it? It's freaking amazing! When it's done right, of course. But either way, it's a gateway to so much.

It's like initial sex is the gateway drug to finding out about oral sex, BDSM etc.

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Anything you can imagine, it's more than likely something you can find in sex. Let's discuss some of my personal things that I want to have happen in my sex life and what I've already had a taste of in the past. The Splorch Tantalizing, isn't it? The Squick If you're looking for a little bump 'n' grind.

The BedBug Its product description re: 'It's creepy, crawly, and likes the warmth of your body The Krubera Posit that ova, baby.

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Anne St. Read next: A Night at the Theatre. Titty Tote Time. Filthy Staff. Showgirls' Elizabeth Berkley. Frank White. Butt Plug or No Butt Plug?

What is oviposition?

Sexploitation in Grindhouse Theaters. Hottest Tattoo Models. What's Your Fantasy? Friday Vibes.

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Even articles that had been shared worldwide only talked about doing the alien sex dance, rather than actually, you know, doing it.


This legendary space horror gave inspiration for many titles to come after, and it still serves as an never ending source of ideas for years to come.


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